GOSSIP---->>>>ARE YOU A GOSSIP GIRL???

Gossip, according to most people, is an ugly word made up of lies, half-truths, rumours and private and intimate affairs. It can be traced back to the anglo-saxon times to words that meant ‘God’ and ‘kin’, which is contrary to what most people think. Gossip can be positive if you’re sharing information that is not necessarily negative, but the problem is that it usually quickly turns negative commonly known to many as the ‘inside scoop’.

Let me call it informative discussion. It is synonymous with small, light, informal conversations for any social occasion. There is actually no way people can live without discussing the what, how, when, why and whom of others. It is normally depicted as a person given secret information and who divulges it to others. I will equate it to rumors especially when they are untrue. We have the signs of people engaging their noses deeply into other people’s business. There are the knowing looks, nudges, winks, furtive glances and for those who have not brushed up on the skill, hands partially covering mouth.

Gossip is everywhere and is inevitable just like change. Its in schools, workplaces, church, cities and around our homes. There are celebrity gossip, wrestling gossip, Barbie gossip even E-gossip. Gossip is entertainment for most people, but for those being gossiped about, its detrimental, negative and damaging to their lives.

Gossip is basically lies, lies and more lies. It always starts with people having tid bits of information about a person they know or don’t know, and they take that information and build a new story around it in their heads. Then they tell their friends who spurn it with even more false information. So by the time it reaches ears of the supposed person; it’s another level.

Gossip gets carried away because talking about other people’s crazy made up lives is sometimes more fun than talking about reality. Real life is crazy enough without having people make stuff up about you & vice versa. There has to be a better way for people to socialize without making up lies. There is nothing worse than a little ‘harmless gossip’.

Most people will deny that they are gossiping and dress it up as “fact”. Apparently, we have one special category of people that are the most dangerous, the all “perfect” kind. These are the people who you’ll never find a hair out of place, always have a good word for everyone and everything they encounter, your confident, friend etc. woe unto you when that friendship reaches it end, they will make you grovel and dig deeper and regurgitate all the stored up information at very unexpected moments. Before you tell your tales to them, scratch just a little beneath the surface and its quickly apparent that underneath all that gloss is one hideous mask..

However, even as we tell our idle little stories and indulge in half-truths about others, we must try to draw the line at the hurtful malicious stuff that can destroy reputations. There are actually three stains of gossips, one; the innoculous chitchat about the weather, schools, churches etc and its an easy descent to number two; a more personal level about people, family, friends moods, character & personality. This kind of rumour, though not vindictive becomes the basis for judgements of character and so often grows with re-telling to the intimate and private problems of others.

Lastly and thirdly; slander, no wonder apostle paul, censored those who “get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busy bodies saying things they ought not to” (1 Timothy 5:13). This is the type of gossip that tarnishes reputations, divulges secrets (proverbs 16:27-28). This kind of gossip more often originates originates from a distortion rather than a lie, while statements and actions can usually be confirmed, its hard to prove intentions. Everyday slander, however, discredits character, twists motives and undermines public confidence.

That said, its difficult to curb gossip. Simply be careful where and how you wag about your tongue and about whom. Whether true or false, gossip affects us all.

Proverbs 18:8; the words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, and they go down Into the innermost parts of the body.

Article by Carol Mbinda
RCWG Camp Alumni

Happy International Day for the Girl

hAPPY iNTERNATIONAL dAY FOR THE gIRLS

‘On December 19, 2011, the United Nations General Assembly adopted Resolution 66/170 to declare October 11 as the International Day of the Girl Child, to recognize girls’ rights and the unique challenges girls face around the world.’

October11,2012 marks the first month that the world celebrates this unique day. So much has been written and said about empowering girls to the point that it is almost ‘cluttering’ people’s minds. Critics say that ‘the whole girl empowerment thing is a little over the top.’ Some ask about the boy child, and say that empowering the girls has been pushed too far at the expense of the boy child. Such critics only highlight just how we have a long way to go in ensuring gender mainstreaming. So much has been achieved yes, but still much more needs to be done. Society has a long way to go in accepting that there is need to empower women and ensure that they are at the same level of contribution/participation as their male counterparts.

The theme of this years’ Day of the Girl is Child marriage. A recent report on the Daily Nation newspaper stated that ‘Kenya ranked high on Teenage mothers list, out of wedlock, into school: combating child marriage through education, nearly 3 in every 10 girls are bearing a child, heavily disorganizing their school lives.’ Issues such as the preference for education of boys over girls, and forced early pregnancies for girls (as per the study), or the disregard of the utility of the added resource provided by women, continue to thrive as barriers to development. There is a cycle of undermining and marginalizing of girls, which reinforces systems in which girls (and later women) are undervalued at all levels of engagement, from community to state levels. This poses serious challenges, not least, stagnation around the quality of progress achieved for development. The potential is far from maximized for whole societies. We have seen the manifestation of this problem in the perennial gaps in women’s representation at the most senior levels and this remains a major stumbling block.

As a result of these challenges which are inherent in our society, it becomes urgent to ‘catch girls young’ (early intervention), and support them in achieving some degree of personal empowerment, which will form the basis for their personal values with their families, at school, university, and work – places that they constantly face exploitation, harassment and discrimination of some kind.

Today, as the world celebrates the Day for the Girls, the Resource Centre Women and Girls(RCWG) family will celebrate its Sheroes whose courage continues to inspire us even long after some are gone; Leaders who have dared bring the women agenda on the table for discussion in an effort to give us a voice; Mentors who have worked tirelessly to bring out the great potential within us;  Feminist and Women Rights activists who have challenged negative society norms that oppress girls; Institutions and Organizations that have thought it important to bring the girl child on the spotlight in their activities; parents, guardians, brothers, sisters and friends who have stood by their daughters, siblings or friends and supported them at times when they needed that support; Young girls who ‘get it’ and inspire their peers at that very low level.

It is such people whose tireless work, passion, solidarity, courage, wisdom and understanding that has brought Girls this far and will bring the change that is needed. It is them that will bring the girls on an equal level to exercise their full potential.

Thank you!

Posted by Rachel Sittoni

Rachel is a graduate from the RCWG camp. The views expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the RCWG opinion.

Miniskirts in Schools

When i was in High school, We used to get uniform skirts sooo long, you had to step on them while walking and sometimes even fall down...Recently, there has been a debate over Honorable Mutula's response regarding wearing of short skirts after a school goes on strike after their head teacher refused them to!! I think Most people in Kenya just don’t like change!!! They like to remain primitive and old fashioned, and for this reason, they are dragging the progress of other people who want to move forward. In my opinion, I think that the skirts should not be too long and not to short. Allow them to be at least in level with the knees...That’s not too bad is it???

I am not saying this because i wish that at my time skirts were shorter, because with or without permission, we wore short skirts but then we would keep hiding from the teacher on duty because if you were caught...it was an immediate suspension, or the skirt would be confiscated.

Anyway, if it is a matter of indecency, ok. I agree sometimes girls can go overboard and over do it and abuse such freedom, but this does not apply to girls only. Any person granted the freedom to do something can sometimes enjoy that freedom too much and abuse it in the long run.

Therefore, i think people should not be quick to harshly rebuke Hon. Mutula. Even though he has yet again retreated on the allegation he made, we are glad he heated the debate for us. I am not advocating for mini skirts in high school, although it would be good if the girls were given a little freedom to show 'some legs'. And i am saying this with the knowledge that some male teachers might give this as an excuse to abuse some girls in school. However, it should be noted that this can not be a major contributory factor to abuse. There are several, and i believe we know a few. It has happened in the past, and is continuing to happen in most schools, What the Ministry of education is doing to stop it is a discussion for another day, but for now let us consider this whole issue at hand.

Post your comments and let us hear what you think about this issue...

Regards

A SAD STORY ABOUT RAPE

Three years ago, 32-year-old Lilian Kirabo* was raped. She talks about her struggle to overcome the trauma and her struggle to accept and love the child she bore as a result of the attack. I wish I could forget that day… but I cannot. It was on 31 January 2009. I had gone to meet an old friend who had promised to help me get a job where she worked. Since she lived in Mombasa, I had travelled from Nairobi the previous day so that I could honour our appointment. We had agreed to meet at her office, but when I got there, I found it locked. I called her on her mobile phone, thinking that she was just running late, but it was switched off. I decided to wait for her by the lifts; this way, I would not miss her. About 30 minutes later, there was still no sign of my friend. I got impatient and decided to inquire about her at the office next door. Had I known what would happen to me there, I would have taken the next bus back to Nairobi. But I did not know, and the consequences haunt me to this day. I knocked, and entered. I found two young men, who courteously welcomed me and asked how they could assist me. I inquired about my friend’s whereabouts, but instead of answering my questions, they asked why I wanted to see her. I told them that she was supposed to assist me get a job. They handed me a sheet of paper and asked me to put down my name and other details. They said that they, too, could help me get employment. Why not? I thought. As I was writing, one of the men left. The other one started rummaging through the drawers of the desk behind which he was seated, as though looking for something. He suddenly jumped over the desk and held a knife to my throat. It was cold. I was too surprised and shocked to react, so I just sat still. He calmly informed me that if I tried to scream, he would slit my throat and throw me out of the window. “People will think that you committed suicide,” he said. Then he started to insult me, accusing me of being a prostitute who had come to Mombasa to look for white men. He bolted the door, undressed, then raped me. He did not bother to use a condom. It was horrible and it appeared to me like a bad dream. I had never imagined that I would be a victim of sexual assault. When he was done, he unbolted the door and called the man who had left on his mobile phone. The accomplice came in and ordered me to get out and not pass through my friend’s office. He even followed me to make sure that I got into the lift. When I got out of the building, I tried to call my friend, but her phone was still switched off. Even though I was still in shock, I managed to ask for directions to the nearest police station so that I could record a statement. Walking in there is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I felt embarrassed, but knew that it was important that I report what had happened. When I found a policeman at the desk, I asked if I could speak to a female officer. I recounted my story, but she seemed unmoved, making me feel even more embarrassed. She informed me that she was expected elsewhere, but would accompany me to the office where I had been attacked. We found the office locked and when we peeped through the window, it looked empty. She advised me to go back to the police station a day later since it was a Saturday. I made my way to my aunt’s house, where I was staying. I thought of going to hospital since I was worried about contracting HIV, but I had no money. Asking my aunt for money was out of the question because I knew that she could not spare any. I was also still feeling embarrassed and was afraid that she would not understand how something like that could have happened to a grown woman. Instead, I took a shower, then called my mother, who was visiting her parents in Kampala. We are close and I felt comfortable telling her about the rape. Unfortunately, she too had no money, and advised me to return to the police station on Monday. The policewoman accompanied me to the office, but it was still locked. We waited for a while for the caretaker, who was not in his office, but the officer got impatient and left. I felt that she was not supportive and seemed not to understand the magnitude of my despair. I went back to my aunt’s home and tore the documents the police had given me to enable me to pursue the matter. The following morning, I boarded a bus back to Nairobi. The journey home seemed to take an eternity. I switched off my phone because I had no desire to talk to anyone, but my mind was in overdrive. I had a lot to worry about. HIV crossed my mind, as did pregnancy. Already, I was the single mother of a five-year-old girl whom I was struggling to raise. I had gone to Mombasa with high hopes of getting a job to enable me to give my daughter a decent life, yet I was going back home worse off than when I set off. I wondered how safe my daughter was if I, her mother, was not. Two weeks passed in a blur. Then I began feeling sick in the morning, making it difficult for me to get up. When nausea set in, the possibility of pregnancy loomed. When I missed my period, I felt as though my world had crashed. All that occupied my mind was the pregnancy. I worried every minute of the day and night. I could not sleep. Eventually, I decided to have an abortion and went to a nearby private clinic. I was informed that the procedure would cost Sh7,000. I did not have the money. Even if I did, I would have better used it to pay rent, buy food, and pay school fees for my daughter. In desperation, I tried to induce an abortion by swallowing a detergent, but nothing happened. I tried several other concoctions, but they too did not work. I finally decided to commit suicide. But first, I decided to confide in a friend who works at the Kenyatta National Hospital. She told me about the hospital’s Gender Violence and Recovery Centre (GVRC), where I could receive free treatment. She also cautioned me about abortion and informed me that I did not have to keep the baby if I did not want to. She took me to see a psychiatrist who, over time, helped me to open up. The personnel at the centre called my mother and informed her about the pregnancy and also told her that I needed support. My mother became my source of strength. It is because of her that I managed to stay sane through the pregnancy. I would get agitated whenever the baby kicked. I felt as though my abuser was not done with me. I hated to feel the baby move and I hated the thought of giving birth. I resisted taking an HIV test and only gave in when I was booked for delivery after it was explained to me that I needed it so that I could protect my child from contracting the virus in case I tested positive. When I got the results, I was relieved to know that I was free of the virus. I finally gave birth to a baby boy. He did not resemble me and I resented him. My mother decided to call him Blessing. She took it upon herself to show him love when I could not. This gradually changed my attitude towards him. Mother encouraged me to breastfeed him and, to my surprise, I found myself getting attached to him. She also talked me out of placing Blessing for adoption, and promised to look after my son as if she were her own, if I could not bring myself to do it. Learning to love Blessing It has taken time, it has been emotionally and psychologically taxing, but I have learnt to disconnect my son from the rape. I now love him regardless of how he came into my life. Blessing is now two-and-a-half years old and I love him with all my heart. He is a loving boy who enjoys football and building blocks. He is talkative and observant. He gets me talking whenever he notices that there is something bothering me. He does not hesitate to ask, “Mum, ni nini?” (What is it?) An important lesson this experience has taught me is that it does not matter how old you are, or how you are dressed. A rapist will always find a reason to attack you. On the day I was attacked, I wearing a long flowing skirt suit since I was going for a job interview. Why would anyone argue that rape victims invite the attack because they dress indecently? If this is true, what about children? We have heard of grown men raping two-year-old children. This experience has also motivated me to speak against sexual abuse. Thanks to the training I have received at the Kenyatta National Hospital’s GVRC, I know a lot about such attacks. I visit schools in Nairobi at least once every week to speak to pupils and students about rape and other forms of sexual assault. My interaction with these young people has taught me that sexual abuse among children is common. In most cases, the attackers are relatives and other adults in whose care they are entrusted. My colleagues and I teach these children how to spot a potential perpetrator and when to report to their guardians and other people they trust of suspicious friendships. I urge parents to talk to their children about sexual abuse and caution them about getting involved in inappropriate friendships with adults. It is something I do with my daughter all the time. A candid talk will equip them with survival skills that they can apply even as adults, skills that could keep them safe from sexual attacks.

Zimbabwe: HIV-positive maid laces child's porridge with menstrual blood

A 17-year-maid from Zimbabwe was caught lacing the porridge of her employers' four-year-old child with her own HIV-positive menstrual blood, according to a report.
Erin Conway-Smith

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa — Are you ready for one of the most disturbing stories you'll ever hear?

Okay. Here we go.

A 17-year-maid from Zimbabwe was caught lacing the porridge of her employers' four-year-old child with her own menstrual blood.

According to NewsDay, Pelagia Mureya, who is HIV-positive, "carried out the disgusting act several times until luck ran out."

The ruse was discovered when her employer "noticed a drop of blood when her child was eating porridge, and investigated."
Mureya was arrested in Mupandawana, Gutu district in southern Zimbabwe, and professed ignorance of the blood.

But, NewsDay reported, "her inquisitive employer took the porridge, her child and the maid to Gutu Rural Hospital where tests confirmed it was Mureya's menstrual blood."

Mureya, who is from a village in Chinhoyi, was sentenced Saturday to 10 years in prison.

There was no explanation given as to why she put HIV-positive menstrual blood into her employers' child's porridge.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS!
I know its a little too late to be wishing you a new year but my apologies for being M.I.A...too much has been happening around lately!! I trust that everyone's new year started on a good note...i know mine did...i got to go back to university which is one of the best things that have happened to me this year...iam actually looking forward to hearing good news from all of you, i have missed you all and hopefully every member of the RCWG blog will be able to post more often this year and get to share the good and also the not so good..

take care of yourselves ya'll an please lets keep this blog alive..it is run by me and you!
Cheers

Scrapbook Poem

Making this scrapbook won’t ruin my day
Although its components are mostly ‘bout pain
From child abuse
To rape at age 2,
To sexual harassment to women who do
Not deserve to be treated in such a manner
Why such stories make the paper leads one to wonder
What readers and editors do to change
The rapid amount of women derailed
From their daily activities and lives for that matter
What can be done? We need to help each other!
Although I’m just scrapbooking, I still have these thoughts.
Boy, I’d be heartless if I did not!
Thank God for programs like RCWG
That take and train girls starting in their teens.
We’re inspired to be leaders despite all odds
The sky is the limit! So what else are we taught?
To be emotionally intelligent and to overcome
Any obstacles, like double standards that just must
Be proven egregious through ALL of our actions
There’s no need for waiting ‘cuz we can SO make this happen!
Begin with connecting the dots with glee. 
And please don’t forget the first one starts with ME!
Continue by supporting each other
Sisterhood and solidarity totally works wonders!
You’ll be shocked to find out that these girls you meet today
Could potentially be the ones to save your lives one day
So make sure you stay in touch and communicate with each other
‘Cuz it’d be nice for more than one for US to be empowered!
So don’t take NO for an answer when it comes to taking a stand
Because the world will soon KNOW we’re inferior to NO man!
Wow, scrapbooking is taking so long
But luckily its inspired me to write this poem!
In the midst of all of the negative articles
There are still some women who succeed in letting us
Know that it’s possible to be empowered
Through education, confidence, and constant challenge hurdles.
So with little time to spare yet so many thoughts
I must conclude to continue my scrapbook!

Poem Written and compiled by

Teniola Olopade
Resource Center for Women and Girls
Camp Allumni

CELEBRATING THE LIVES OF OUR HEROINES WAMBUI OTIENO MBUGUA AND PROF.WANGARI MATHAI

It was with great sadness just the other day we had to mourn our beloved mentor, heroine and shero Wambui Otieno Mbugua. It was a sad moment for us at the Resource Center given we had had a one on one with her and gotten to invite her over at our camp program to speak to our girls which was a total success at that and for sure just like every other person, our girls loved her and how she spoke to them confidently and very courageously. And even though at the time she was not very okay Health wise, we knew she would pull through, i mean this is Wambui, she always finds a way of getting herself out of a situation no matter how difficult it may seem. And so when news got out that she had passed on, we were caught by surprise!!However, we are glad that she had gotten to share alot with us and even though she might not be with us physically,,her legacy still lives on with us and the idea of the pace she set for every woman in this country. Here at the Resource Center we will make sure we continue with her great work and keep the fire burning as she was a very inspiring Trailblazer!!

If that was not enough, September 25, 2011 also became another shocking day for us at the Resource Center when we had that another one of our Trailblazers, Prof. Wangari Mathai had passed on due to cancer. Today we opt to celebrate rather than mourn her for the great environmental work she has done in the country, Here at the resource center, we always encourage our girls to take care of the environment and we could not have had a better example if it were not for Wangari Mathai. She has lived her life and even though her health got the better of her, we will always remember her for her great environmental work amongst other achievements. Therefore, for every tree you see wherever you go, remember the Great Prof. Wangari Mathai.

May they REST IN PEACE

Machakos Office

So, Today marks the grand official opening of our new office in Machakos. What an exciting event it was. Okay, it wasn't as big as many would expect but i believe it was a start and it was big to us...very big indeed. The deputy mayor of the Machakos county actually showed up and gave a speech of how supportive his office would be to our work. That's actually great and it gives us hope of more great things to come our way in future. The girls that attended were actually also excited about the whole idea of having the Resource Center within their proximity. They would now be more able to meet and chat and also borrow books from our library and take them home to read.

Esther Mbete one of our Camp allumni will be in charge of the office and all the borrowing of books, etc.

Our director had actually invited the press to our event but due to unavoidable circumstances, they could not make it,Lol!!!
Anyway, we look forward to seeing more successful events and we Thank God for the one that has already kicked off!!!

All smilez :) :)

About the Resource Center

This is the Resource Center for Women and Girls (RCWG) blog where the Mentoring and Empowerment Camp for Girls is the tool which we seek to achieve personal transformation and empowerment for young African girls so that they are better prepared to participate in the leadership and development of the African continent among other programs.

 

This blog will basically feature articles from the Alumni ( girls and women from the training programs) and will keep you updated on relevant development issues.