Camp Diary of a Shy Girl to a Confident Young Woman: Part 2

The following days went as they came. They had sexual and reproductive health sessions. Whenever she remembers them she always smiled.

That day, she got in the conference room and what caught her eye were the mirrors she saw placed on the table. She counted them, twenty five. ‘Maybe they just decided they should give us mirrors as part of the ‘goodie’ bag which they were given on the last day of camp. It usually contained personal amenities such as sanitary towels, toothpaste, and underwear. She sat down and waited for the rest of the group to arrive. The facilitator came in and started talking about self-image. ‘oh, that’s why she gave us the mirrors, to look at ourselves.’ she thought. The concept of self-image was not yet clear in her mind. It was self, that is; her and image, the reflection she saw on the mirror when she stood in front of it. The facilitator explained that self-image was the idea that one has about their abilities, appearance and personality. That had nothing to do with the mirror. She kept it aside and decided that when the time would come, she would eventually find out what it was meant for.

They were taught about self-esteem. They also practiced how to say an affirmative NO which she thought was an easy thing until her turn came to say it. Normally when she talked to boys who were trying to woo her, she would smile and look down on the floor and say a sheepish no. She still remembers how she would ‘draw’ maps with her feet when a boy was talking to her and how she couldn’t gain the courage to look at the boy in the face. Her heart would always thud when she was approached and sometimes her feet would be pricked by thorns as she was trying to find an escape route in the bushes just to avoid crossing paths with the boys. Such efforts would eventually prove futile since they would always come to her and even laugh at her for trying to evade them.

The facilitator made them repeat the NO’s until she was satisfied that the NO was ‘genuine’ and strong enough. Thinking back to this time, she still recalls how that session has helped her in the outside world where most men believe they could have her without too much hesitation from her part. Afterwards, they were given a special assignment. There would be no evening session, they were told. The homework would cover the time meant for that session. They were supposed to take the mirror and go to their rooms and look at their vaginas. This assignment would aid in the following day’s session on sexual and reproductive health.

They all squirmed. How were they supposed to do that? It was embarrassing. She had never known how her vagina looked like. She only knew it was there. It was impossible. A taboo. She swore she wouldn’t look at ‘IT’. The thought of even speaking the word out loud was a sin. Her knowledge in biology would help her answer the questions the following morning. Besides, the facilitator wouldn’t be there to confirm if they did it. Little did she know that they would all get caught the following morning for ignoring the exercise.

Article by Esther Wambui

Mentoring and Empowerment Camps Alumni 

Group of 2015

CELEBRATING WOMEN’S INTERNATIONAL DAY

I grew up knowing that every woman had to be circumcised, get married and have MANY children,

Your opinion and how you felt about the practices did not matter at ALL,

My husband would abuse me, my screams covered the entire village but that was no one’s business,

All my mother would tell me is hold on my daughter that’s how life is,

The story of women's struggle for equality and emancipation!!!!

The world has witnessed a significant change and attitudinal move in women,

Women have been provided with the freedom to work, have a family and make real choices,

Some women are presidents and queens of nations, other first ladies,

My daughters have their own money, lands and cars, they own prestigious business,

They have the a great power which they use to make the world stand still a VOICE,

The story of women's struggle for equality and emancipation!!!!

This international women day,

I am celebrating, the progress and achievements strong women have made,

I am celebrating the work of courage and determination women have played and done,

I am celebrating each woman’s contribution in one way or another in helping a sister,

I am celebrating every woman who has helped in bring about a major change in the world and women,

The story of women's struggle for equality and emancipation!!!!

Article by

Nene

Alumni

Camp Diary of a Shy Girl to a Confident Young Woman: Part 1

She sat down and reflected on where she had come from, a tiny girl who was shy, timid, and whose life had shown her that it couldn’t be sweet, it had slapped her so many times that at some point she had wished that it would come to an end. She reflected on how many times she had tried to end it herself but she would always wake up in the morning, disappointed it didn’t work.

The chain of thoughts that rushed through her mind were always negative. She would always have a smile on her face but deep inside she felt as if knives were piercing at every inch of her skin. The voice in her head was always telling her that she was always on the wrong and that she deserved everything that came to her. All the people who mistreated her and made her feel small, as if she was a mistake, were justified.

She got a chance to attend a programme, the person who told her about it said it was something to do with women. At the point, she was open to anything that would free her from her agonizing thoughts.

She met new faces that day, with whom she had been told to interact with freely because they were all sisters. She didn’t understand what that meant but she tried as best as she could to fit in. That night they had a personal story sharing session. Nobody forced her but the session they had had all day about the self and courage had made her feel that she was in a safe space where she could express herself and no one would judge her. She volunteered to go first and shared her story, the most amazing part was as she narrated it, some of the girls in the room cried along with her, as if they had taken her burden and put themselves in her situation. They didn’t know it but that day, they had aided in the birth of a new person, a person who had discovered that crying was not a sign of weakness, a person who wasn’t ashamed of her background and in a way had given her strength to achieve what she had set her mind to.

The next day, she went back to her usual self, the one who didn’t like talking and she thought because she had shared her sad story, everyone would just pity her and would let her stay in her comfort zone as she tried to cope with her situation but she was wrong. The facilitator asked a question and she kept quiet. She thought that she would leave her alone but she insisted that she had all the time to wait for her to answer. She was true to her word. The silence in the room built pressure on her because she knew that everyone was waiting for her. When she finally garnered the courage to answer, her voice came out very low, she hadn’t even finished her sentence when the facilitator threatened that she would send her to a nearby tree and ask her to answer the question at the tree. She thought about it. That would force her to stand up and that would attract attention towards her and also she would have to shout thus that would make her feel even more uncomfortable. Her hands were all sweaty, she considered her options and preferred to be more audible. The answer she gave was correct and the facilitator asked her what was stopping her from giving it initially. That is the day when her voice was born.

Article by Esther Wambui
Alumni

SMART PLANNING

Happy New Year from The Resource Center for Women and Girls fraternity!

I realise there is nothing new about this year but before January ends, it would be nice to touch base with our wonderful supporters, followers and friends! Every start of the year brings forth new expectations and in some cases, resolutions! I believe that every individual has that one thing, if not two that they hope to achieve every year. Some of the common ones include, making more money, improving in school, getting that job promotion, sending out as many job applications as possible, getting that scholarship you have always wanted, etc…

However, what is most important is what you do to get you to achieve whatever it is you have set out to do. Many people start with morale and motivation, which is good, but why does this motivation fades as the year fades?

Planning!! How do we plan as individuals? Are our plans realistic? Do we evaluate our plans and see if they are SMART plans? I have been a victim of this a couple of times now and this year, I would like to see a difference in the plans I make. I am setting out to make a few plans for the first six months of my year and I look forward to achieving them because this time I will actually work to ensure that my plans are SMART.

This was just a short note to welcome you to the New Year, I sincerely hope that after reading this, you will evaluate your plans to see how SMART they really are!

A goal without a plan is just a Wish

Happy Planning!!

Article by

Ivy Nyawira

My Experience Volunteering with OXFAM for the African Women Leadership Symposium (AWLS)

The past 1o days have been an eye opening experience for me. I spent a week in the OXFAM Nairobi Offices volunteering with a team of great young people to make the African Women Leadership Symposium (AWLS) which was held in Safari Park on the 24^th and 25^th August a success.

If you follow what happens in the women’s movement closely, then you probably know that this was a huge symposium that brought together powerful women leaders from all over Africa to Nairobi including our very own Cabinet Secretary for Foreign Affairs, Ambassador Amina Mohammed and Cabinet Secretary for Defense, Raychelle Omamo.

Preparing for such an event has its ups and downs/pros and cons. The pros include the experience and the exposure you get of course dealing and meeting with high profile women leaders across Africa, the less empowering moments and experiences, well, read ahead!

The week at the Oxfam offices was intense, among other tasks included, putting up a list of all the women who would be attending and their details, including their flight details, organizing for their airport transfers, et al. We had a team from Oxfam who we worked directly with led by Saida Ali who was the project manager for the AWLS, who did a difficult job really well and set the standards for us.

One of the Cons according to my experience was the fact that we spent too much time working on the list that some of the other critical issues as the AWLS drew nearer fell through the cracks. For example, the final list was to have been sent to the printers for name tags printing sooner than it actually happened. At the beginning, part of the tasks the volunteers were given was to provide logistical support which included picking guests from the airport. This didn’t go as planned and due to some miscommunication, some guests arrived without having people to meet them at the airport, there was a case of a guest who arrived and found that she had no transport waiting for her at the airport, which resorted to her making her own arrangements to get to the hotel. At the same time, human is to error, but as a great mentor always tells me, some errors are expensive. If you ask me, this was an expensive error!

I met and networked with different women leaders, Ministers, former ministers, executive directors, etc. I have to say however, leadership is not a position or a title, it is action and example. In my leadership training, I have learnt to be very keen and observant in my environs and surroundings, and honestly, I did not see the actions and the examples in some women I interacted with. I think I gave my total commitment and dedication during the symposium, I worked extremely hard, including late nights and early mornings to ensure that I delivered and that I did not disappoint the team I was working with

Over the years, I have learnt to always pursue excellence in everything that I do and getting reaffirmed goes a long way to ensure that excellence is pursued. Collectively, we got reaffirmed a lot by the Oxfam team we worked with during preparations of the AWLS.

I don’t know about the other individual volunteers but during the symposium, I met different women leaders who appreciated the support we were giving them to settle in, find their way, among others. They were polite and thanked us. But there were others who felt enough was not done for them and perhaps because of their status or professional positions, would feel offended if asked for their names or even denied a second conference bag. Which begs the question, isn’t leadership making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that the impact you make lasts even in your absence? Just as some Sisters were pleasant, others were dismissive and arrogant and made some of us volunteers feel very inadequate.

All in all, the Symposium was a huge success and I got very inspired by the stories told by younger sisters and older sisters. I took advantage of the space to network with powerful women in various sectors and learn from stories told and shared by different individuals. For this, I sincerely thank Saida Ali and the Oxfam team for such an opportunity for exposure, learning and experiencing African women’s leadership in action!

The Views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of any agency.

Article by
Ivy Nyawira
RCWG Staff and Alumni